i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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