SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have fence marks all over my body
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize