I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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