Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize