I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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