I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize