there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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