The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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