I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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