That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize