and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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