My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize