Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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