apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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