finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize