What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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