i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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