overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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