Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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