3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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