i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize