We named our party play list daddy issues
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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