just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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