can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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