it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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