Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh god it's open bar.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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