btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize