my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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