I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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