shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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