You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize