I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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