how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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