Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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