i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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