you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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