i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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