"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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