This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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