I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize