i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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