She's JV to your varsity
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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