you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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