just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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