I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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