it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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