her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize