if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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