If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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