I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize