She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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